I am up before the sun even thinks about rising, by 5 am. I try to be out the door by 5:30ish for my hour commute, hoping to be to work by 6:45 am at the latest. I spend my day working [or trying to work - it's the holidays - let's be serious]. If I'm lucky, I step away from my desk for lunch. Sometimes it's actually lunch with a co-worker or friend, others it's to run errands so I don't get home even later.
If I'm lucky, I try to scoot out by 4:00, but some days that doesn't work and I'm leaving at 4:30, 4:45, or 5:00. [Cue tears.] And of course, the later I leave, the later I get home. More traffic, more assholes on the road, just more.
By the time I'm putting the car in park in the garage, Emma is out the front door to greet me. That I love! I finally make it inside and Alec wants some attention and my husband is ready to go batshit crazy from having the kids all day. As much as I love the welcoming party, I just want to hit the bathroom after the long drive and 32 ounces of water.
I play with the kids for a few minutes and then it's time to make some sort of a dinner. I feel like I make the same five dishes in rotation because I do t have the time to try something new. [I wish I trusted my crockpot to make the most amazing meal ever, but I'm always hesitant of that.] My goal is to have dinner on the table by 6 pm, or shortly after, and most days that happens.
We can only hope to make it through dinner without any meltdowns or drama and then it's time to play again. These are the moments that are refreshing, but far and few between. We pick up toys and hope to start pajama time and baths by 7/7:30. Bottles and snacks and bedtime around 8 or shortly after. PHEW!
And by the time bedtime has finally come, I'm too mentally and physically exhausted to do much. That last little bit of snuggling on the couch trying to prep the kids for bed also preps me for bed. That is when I feel like I fail as a working mom. After their bedtime, I feel like I should be doing chores or spending quality time with my husband or studying or anything but thinking about going to bed! If I'm lucky, I got some laundry folded or dishes done during playtime, but it doesn't always happen.
So where the hell does my time go? Lately I keep waking up in the middle of the night and lying awake for an hour or two, hoping to fall back to sleep, and that doesn't help with making me tired by 8 pm. But aside from that, I feel like there is no time to do anything besides the basic routine. HOW DO ALL THE PEOPLE DO IT?
How do people find time to work out? Study? Do more work? Respond to emails or send thank you cards? [Okay, so maybe not everyone does the last one, like me.] Out of all of those, I wish I had time to work out and study. I'm sure if I really, really wanted I could work out at 8 pm, but if I'm exhausted, there wouldn't be much effort put into that workout. I just need to get my shit together before the new year starts!
Alright, enough with my pity party. I'd love to hear how you carve out time for yourself or get things done. Because my only solution is to wish for an extra hour or two or eight, and well, I've done that and I still haven't seen them!